The Barrenness of Parties

“Isn’t this wild?”

“I’m well, and you? You want a drink?”

“Great, yes, why don’t we have a shooter as well?”

“Great idea! I’m dying–”

“Hey! Hey, sorry, dude, can we get a round of tequila? Yes, yes. Yes. Thanks!”

“Uh, yes, isn’t this wild?”


“No. No, I can’t do another tequila. But you want another beer?”

“Sure, hey, check those girls out there?”

“Sorry, what? So loud in here!”

“I’m going to go talk to that girl. I’m lonely and–”

“Oh, cool, I’ll get us another round. Yeh, you need to get laid.”

“I–I… I–”

“Sorry, what? Loud in here!”



“Whoo! Yeh!”


“Fuck yeh! Hey! Hey, another round!”

“No-no, I want to go–”

“Sure! One more! Hey, she’s coming over! Whoo!”

“W-what? Shit. Hey, wild in here, isn’t it?”

“Wanna dance?”

“Sure. You want a shooter first? Cool, hey, dude, make it three shots of tequila.”



“Fuck, man, it’s cool, I’m a–”

“Jeez, dude, you can’t hold your tequila! Fuck, forget that chick, man. You got her on Facebook? Our Ubers’ here.”

“God, dude, I’m going to be hanging tomorrow. She was married. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Where are we heading? Where is everyone heading?”

“Yes, hey, the Ubers’ here. Let’s cruise. Wild night! You still gonna fuck her?”

“Yes, fuck, ok. Let’s go. Where are we going?”

“Dude, we must do this again. Wild night!”

“Yes. Sure. OK. Right, no. I don’t know.”

“Whoo! You got a smoke for me?”

“I don’t smoke, man. But–”

“It’s cool, man, don’t worry about it. Good night!”

“Yeh, you too. Cheers dude.”

“Hey, you not gonna jump in the Uber?”

“No, I’m gonna go find that chick. Go talk to her. See where it goes, cause my life can’t get any worse than it is right now.”

“Awesome man, good luck! Use protection! Hah, what an awesome night!”