Tag Archives: murder

When Death Wore Lipstick

She watched the streetlights go by. One by one, they flashed by the bus’s window. At the next stop, after shooting the other passenger and the bus driver, she got out. It late at night. No one was around. The bus just sat there idling as the bus driver and the other guy bled out. No one came running. Sirens did not go off.

“We all die…” she muttered to herself, though it felt like she was forgetting something.

After tucking the gun back into her handbag, she turned around. The night was a little chilly, but she did not seem to feel it. There was an all-night diner nearby. Its red and white neon sign cast light across the street. The light bounced off the street, forming an inverted halo. She felt drawn to.

She blinked her eyes and she was standing inside the diner. Briefly, she wondered how she had got there? She did not remember walking from the bus to the diner, yet here she was standing.

And then she saw all the bodies around her. An old man, twisted at a strange angle over the counter top. A young waitress slumped backwards behind the counter with blood running down her apron. A middle-aged black man, sprawled on the floor. His half-eaten food was on a table a bit behind him. It looked like he had got up to move? Perhaps to run?

Run from what? Where was the blood, she wondered?

She looked down and saw her hands. She was holding a gun in her right hand, soft smoke wafting from its chamber. There were splatters of blood on her, but most of it covered the diner; dripping on the pies, the counter and spreading out over the floor to cover it and, eventually, the world.

“We all die, but how many of us can kill?” she whispered, suddenly remembering the full phrase from somewhere. Her voice sounded strange, like someone else’s.

Suddenly, she remembered and smiled. She walked outside and looked up, still smiling. She lifted her middle finger to the sky and then the gun in her hand to head.

***

“…vitals are stable. Stop easing him off. You can cut the drugs now, ease in the stimulants,” the voice that began to penetrate his consciousness droned on and on with medical terms, “He’s awake. His scans indicate normality. Sergeant, welcome back, how do you feel?”

He blinked his eyes. He was Sergeant Malcolm. He had just undergone VR field training, with a little help from military-grade drugs.

“I-I was a girl,” the Sergeant stammered, “I thought this was military training, but I just shot people?”

“No, Sergeant,” another voice began speaking, it was gruff and commanding, “You did not shoot people. You killed people. We all die, but how many of us can kill? You, Sergeant, are a killer and that is exactly what we need.”

Sergeant nodded. He did not turn around and look at his General. He knew. He remembered signing up for the programme now. The medical staff were still fluttering around him, pulling out needles, taking off electrodes, putting in other drugs and checking vitals.

But he was fine.

“One last thing, Sergeant,” the General began as he turned to leave, “You must be respectful when you meet her. You have just walked through some of her memories.”

***

“Sergeant Malcolm, why did you agree to join this programme?”

The speaker was a dark-haired lady. She had bright, blood-red lipstick on her pale skin. She was sitting calmly in the interrogation room looking intently at the Sergeant.

“I wanted to–” Sergeant Malcolm started and then changed his course, “Ma’am, I needed to know. I needed to know if I was one after-after Mexico? Am I? The General thinks I am?”

She smiled. It was deathly cold without a hint of humanity in it. He wanted to shiver, but she would see him move and so he sat frozen in front of her. He felt like a fly stuck in a spider’s web.

“Psychopaths do not worry that they are psychopaths, Sergeant Malcolm,” she kept using his name, “Of the millions enrolled into the army, most are normal. They are here for their paycheck and their country, and they try to avoid killing other humans. That is fine for normal people, but ineffective for military purposes. But, of the millions in our army, there is a handful that is actually just here to kill. My job is identifying these few killers, round them up and put them to work in the most effective way possible: killing people, preferably the ones that we want.”

She fell silent looking at Sergeant Malcolm. Her cold eyes bored into him. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. He found himself holding his breath and had to remind himself to breathe. He once heard that her kill count was triple digits. He found himself believing that, but he also wondering if that included the civilians or not?

“Ar-are you saying that I have failed the test?” he asked, timidly breaking the silence.

She smiled and leant forward, her body language matching his. He wondered if she was doing this consciously or it was instinctual like a lion hunting a buck mimics its movement. He quickly dismissed the thought; nothing this lady did was by chance.

“Sergeant Malcolm,” she started talking, “You passed the test. You killed who you had to and you are a good soldier. But, you are no psychopath. I have no use for you in the Squad.”

The Sergeant was not sure if he was relieved or not. He deflated in his chair and then rose as she cooly dismissed him. She was instantly uninterested in him. He now had no worth to her. But, after he saluted and as he turned to go, he asked one last question.

“Why–how do you know that I am not a psychopath, Ma’am?”

She turned to look at him. Her blood red lipstick punctuated the pale skin and dark hair on the expressionless face of a highly decorated killer.

“Sergeant Malcolm, you followed orders and killed those people in the VR sim, yes?” she waited for him to nod before going on, “You followed orders, which makes you a good soldier. Better than most, in fact. But, you were just following orders, and you did not enjoy killing. Your endorphin levels were flat and your limbic system’s responses were median. You are not a psychopath, just a good soldier.”

He was taken aback. He opened his mouth, but she cut in before waving him out of the room like a bug being ignored by a spider.

“Sergeant Malcolm, we can’t all be at the top of the food chain.”

Walking away, Sergeant Malcolm could not decide if he was relieved at the news, or not.

Fragile Creatures

He watches the butterfly flutter over the busy road. It is late afternoon and the cars scream by, probably on their way home from work. The colourful little creature fights her way to land on his hand. She is so light and fragile, he can barely feel her weight resting on his hand. But he can sense her heart pounding as she catches her breath. Her soft, golden-brown, red, speckled-white and black-rimmed wings flutter open and then close slowly as she recovers.

He lifts his hand up to his ear and then nods.

She saw them. She saw them all, and they did not see her.

“Yes,” he growls, “We will go once it is dark. Very dark. I love you.”

***

“Jesus Chris-almighty!” exclaims the janitor walking into the room. He takes a step back immediately and averts his eyes while pinching his nose. But he looks back. He has to see.

“J-e-s-u-sss…” he mumbles as he runs his eyes over the ghastly scene, “There is so much blood. Is that–is that a fucking leg over there? How many are here?”

But no one answers him back. He is first on the scene. He heard the screaming and came running. Now there is no one screaming anymore. He will have to call the cops. Soon the cafeteria will be swarming with forensics and outside will be full of journalists, but for now, he has a few moments to catch his breath.

He has a few moments to absorb all the horror.

Perhaps slipping in from an open window or maybe it had always been hiding there in the shadows, a butterfly suddenly flutters over the bloody scene. He stops muttering swearwords and watches the red, black and white little creature as it flies towards him and lands on his outstretched, shaking hand.

He smiles at the butterfly like a lover. His hand stops shaking immediately. She is so fragile on his hand. So small and light; so frightened with so much violence around her. Much like him, she is fragile and unprotected in this dark world. He lifts her up to his ear to listen.

She saw them. She saw them all, and they did not see her.

“Yes,” he growls, “We will go once it is dark. Very dark. I love you.”

***

The blood drips off his hands onto the tiled floor. He does not notice it. He is smiling because he is happy. He–and she!–they are both safe. Everyone is dead, and so they are safe.

“This world is so violent,” he growls softly under his breath, “So violent, but we are safe now, my love.”

He slips out the back of the hospital, casually throwing the knife into a bin out there. He starts to walk, still smiling, but then she flutters off his shoulder. The red, black and white little creature’s fragile wings barely move, but she rises in the soft breeze in the alley. She flutters silently upwards like the chorus of oncoming sirens to disappear over a roof and is gone.

Except those sirens just keep getting nearer.

He is left standing there. He is no longer smiling. He mouth is wide open and his eyes terrified. All the blood is forgotten. Suddenly the sirens cut into his consciousness and he starts. Panic sets in.

And he begins to run.

She is far above fluttering in the warm air. Below her is the mortal world. He is running and the blue lights are chasing. She is watching, and from up here she can see them and they cannot see her.

***

The aircon in the detective’s office is broken and the open window barely helps, but he does not notice the sweat on his brow. He is lost in thought looking at the cases on his desk. All of them are murders. All of them are seemingly random homicidal murder, and in all of their cases, the suspect was chased from the scene and eventually died in the pursuing flight.

Suicide-by-cop, he thinks. He knows it must be right. It was their inability to face the consequences of their actions that drove them to this, and so they took the easy way out.

But why had all of them done the murders in the first place? So violent, so bloody…

All of the perps had been described as wildly psychotic by the police that had chased them. Yet all of the perps had appeared to be completely normal people by everyone who had actually know them in their day-to-day lives. All of the murders were so violent with little regard for hiding them; some in the middle of the day, some in the middle of busy schools or hospitals…

It was almost like they had wanted to get caught in the act. But then why had they run from the cops?

He shakes his head and leans back in his chair. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He needs a drink; something cold and strong.

Something brushes his hand on the table. Without thinking, he slaps his other hand down onto it. He sighs and opens his eyes.

Crushed between his right palm and the top of his left hand is a red, black and white little butterfly. Its wings are broken and its little body and insides squished all over the detective’s rough hands. Its tiny heart beats its last time in its shattered frame as life leaves it.

“Fuck. How the hell did that get in here,” he asks, but then realises the window was wide open. He feels bad; a pang of guilt stabs into him. It looks like it was a beautiful little creature, but just so fragile.

He grabs a tissue and wipes it off his hand and throws it into a bin under his desk. He sits up and leans forward, pulling the case files nearer to him. In front of him is a mosaic of murder with bloody pictures on his desk. So many. Why? Why would they do all of this?

He sighs and growls under his breath, “This world is so violent. So violent…”

Shadow of Nobbs Road

There was something off about that part of Nobbs Road. When I stood there in the day, it felt like home. Yes. Indeed, I had lived there for a number of years in a creaky old house with beautifully kept wooden floors and a large, ornate, green gate made of twisted iron. I was very happy living there and only had good things to say about the place, at first.

But, like creeping damp in a wall or fine hairline cracks in a beautiful portrait, there was something else. There a disquiet about the road or the land that grew on me over time.

When I stayed awake at my house on the Nobbs Road late at night, I felt the tug of something strange there. As the hour grew later, my thoughts would grow darker. It took me a while to recognise this, but there was a sense of foreboding that permeated my sleep and seeped into my waking mind. I only became aware of this in moments of idle thought or when a cloud passes by on a sunny day.

At first, it was just a feeling of unease, but then over the years it became its own entity and I began trying to avoid the shadow of Nobbs Road. I would make sure I was inside before dark, tucked into the safe illusion that domestic comforts project. I would lock my front door and make sure my curtains were closed. I would make sure I was fast asleep long before the midnight. I stopped inviting friends around and began to consciously ponder why I felt like this.

Insanity is incremental, and so is obsession. At face value, they are pretty similar, but with a key difference is the ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

So one day I decided that I would investigate it. Being unattached and financially secure, I had both the time and the means to plough into such a pursuit. And so I would investigate the quaintly-named Nobbs Road, that part of that road and what happened there long ago. If nothing else, I would find out something of the history of where I live. And, at best, I would dispel my ghost with a dose of benign reality.

Over months of scouring the Internet, old library paper clippings and, eventually, the city and the police’s public records I had a story. Actually, I had many stories from the civil war shelter in the old farm building to the retired couple who died in a fire there that destroyed the second incarnation of the house (excluding the original gate that still stood there now). There was even a bootlegger that lived there for a while and a moderately successful author who had been born there before moving inland.

All these lives and their related stories were scattered over centuries, but there was one that stood out. I found vague references to it online, so I went to the library and found a key part of it as a tiny fifth-page article in a now-forgotten newspaper. Then I went to the public records and found some of the legal records evidencing this narrative.

Interestingly, I could find no record of who designed and installed the same twisted, iron green gate that stands in front of my house now. It just seems to have always been there, but I suppose that is another story entirely.

And that is how this story begins, as one day about two centuries ago an old lady was banging on that gate. The recently married couple that had just moved into the house–the wife’s father owned it, but he was off in Germany–came out to see her. They had their newborn in their arms when this strange, wild-haired old lady had warned of where they were living.

I could find no record of exactly what that warning had been, but the man the next day had reported it at the police station. The entry into the police records had just said: “Residents at 2 Nobbs Road receive another warning. Woman not located.

There is a gap in the records, but in Winter that year the poor couple buried their firstborn. The grave is still there on the hill at the old cemetery overlooking the bay. I went and visited it and through the moss and cracked, weathered rock I could just make out the words, “…taken tragically before his time.

The police records showed that an investigation into the child’s death was opened, but the couple refused to co-operate and their statements are not on record. The case was closed and marked as “Cot Death“.

It was at this point that the story took a strange turn.

The tiny fifth-page article in the now-forgotten newspaper speaks about the mysterious gatherings taking place at 2 Nobbs Road. Neighbours reported dark-dressed strangers coming and going from the house late at night. They also spoke of strange sounds and smells coming from the property. And then there was one naked, terrified man seen jumping the gate and running from the property late at night. When the police found him, he was screaming uttering incomprehensible gibberish about falling stars and the “the darkness below that speaks“. By the time the journalist from the newspaper got to interview him in the mental hospital, he was unresponsive. Given those type of clinic’s treatments, the latter was no surprise to me. The journalist, though, did note in his article the deep cuts and scratch marks that covered his body, before concluding that “…in the interest of public good, the men of the law should investigate the unseemly goings-on at 2 Nobbs Road.

But, I suspect that without a coherent statement from the man committed to the mental hospital, the police could not legally act nor issue a warrant for searching 2 Nobbs Road. Either that or they did not care for it. Either way, the police do not appear to have done anything at this stage and, thus, it not surprising to see that a later seventh-page article talks about a group of neighbours that had had enough. They had been complaining about strange sounds and smells coming from that house at night and a number of them had now also reported missing pets.

The final pieces of evidence that I have points to a terrible climax late one Winter’s night. That fateful night, the police were called out to settle the peace as a neighbourhood crowd apparently stormed 2 Nobbs Road. What they found, though, was a raging fire that had broken out across the property. The police report spoke about how the strange fire raging through the property was impossible to put out, but it did not travel to adjacent property and its flames touched nothing outside of 2 Nobbs Road, stopping at the twisted iron gate. But, this raging fire was also the least of their worries, or so spoke the third-page article I found.

The couple that had lost their child were at the front of a gang of black-robed people standing on the properties lawn before the burning house. The lead policeman on the scene describes the couple’s faces as being dark and unrecognisable. The police found no sign of the neighbours that had apparently stormed the property (and they never would find signs, as no less than seven unsolved Missing Person cases are filed at that date from Nobbs Road). But there was a caucus of screams coming from inside the burning house and, thus, some of the policemen attempted to charge into the flames and save whoever was trapped in there (the firemen, busy with a fire across town at the time, would only turn up later and extinguish much of the blaze).

The police that charged into house would never come out. Part of the house collapsed and a lot of the property–except the green, twisted iron gate–was consumed in the fire. Neither the policemen who charged towards the screams nor any neighbours came out of the blaze. Heat of the blaze must of been intense, as no bodies–not even charred ones–were found. The police report noted that the screaming quickly died out and the lead investigator noted that he believed the fire had simply consumed everyone trapped in that house.

The remaining police had rounded up the black-robed gang, after a brief skirmish, pulled them from the raging inferno of 2 Nobbs Road, and marched them down to the police station for questioning. At this point, the firemen had turned up and begun dealing with the fire. The firemen of the day did not keep any records that I could locate, but the police report noted in a post-note that one of the firemen had also been killed fighting the fire that night.

The next morning, the officer on duty at the police station had walked into the jail and found that all the black-robed strangers were gone, save for the young couple. But the couple were hanging, dead from the ceiling with the words, “SORRY, WAS NOT ME” scratched into the husband’s chest.

The police noted the suicide and their files were empty from there. The wife’s father had come back from Germany and auctioned what was left of the house and the couple had been buried in two separate graves. The wife’s grave is somewhere in Germany with the rest of her family. Her husband, though, is in a tangled, overgrown part of the old graveyard overlooking the bay with no stone or name to mark it.

Pondering this twisted tale, a strange thought occurred to me and I checked the lunar calendar of the day. The date recorded for this bizarre climax was over a three-night lunar eclipse occurring on the longest night of the year.

There is one final event that may or may not be related to this story, but a year later the new residents of this address–after building the third and, so far, final house that now stands at 2 Nobbs Road–reported a strange, old woman threatening them at their self-same green, twisted iron gate. This time the police records note what the old woman said by the following note: “New residents at 2 Nobbs Road receive warning against living there. Told to leave or else they never will, as ‘beast is hungry’. Parks Dept. report no animals in vicinity. Woman not located.

I sold that house and moved far away. And, although life has moved on for me, sometimes when a shadow of a cloud passes or the full moon dips behind dark clouds, I can still feel something tugging at me. I can still sense something old and evil with a hunger whispering about a twisted, iron gate that holds it tied to that its accursed prison.

The Corner Office

“Girls don’t get the corner office, Suz,” chuckled the boss, Jeff Jeoffery’s or JJ. It was her first week in the office. It was also the moment that her goal was given both a name and an obstruction.

While all the other girls were worrying about boys, she had spent her breaks in the library studying. While all the other girls were out driving in fast cars with boys and going to parties, she had achieved a cum laude in her degree. While all the other girls were out getting married and pregnant, she was entering the male-dominated workforce with a keen eye for the top, and now the corner office.

It was not that she was not beautiful. She was quite pretty and even stylish in a petite, understated way. She would never make Playboy model, but she had decided to that she could make management.

“Darn JJ,” she would gossip at the water cooler with some of those on the same level as her, “What’s his deal? Why do they keep him as management here?” It always allowed her colleagues to moan, which temporarily bonded them together, but she knew why JJ was the boss: he was good in all the right ways and just bad enough as a human being to make him excellent at both business and extorting labour. The conscience of capitalism reports up the chain of command, not down.

An office is a strangely self-contained environment. Your big enemies are out there in the real world as other businesses compete with yours, but they feel distant and rather abstract. The real enemies are big and loud and in front of you, stealing your ideas, claiming credit for your successes and subtly edging you into obscurity while they rise higher and higher. Your real enemies are the people you work for and with, or, at least, that was how she began to view it.

Each step in the right direction she would make, another would claim it as their success. Each positive contribution she would make, JJ or someone else would insert themselves into. Each movement forward and upwards would see her slip backwards and remain nearly stationary. Nearly stationary, but not quite…

It had been a couple of years now and through sheer willpower, staff attrition and what she called “manoeuvering” she had managed to rise in command under JJ. It was definitely something, but it also sounded better than it really was. JJ’s word was still final and she had no real influence over him. The closer she got to him, the more he could claim her victories as his own (and the more he did). And, she still did not have the corner office.

Friday afternoons and staff parties were the hardest. On Friday afternoon, JJ would always pop off to play a round of golf with key clients, or at least that was what he claimed. On the way out he would make sure to pop by her office to check “everything was OK”, but in actual fact he would linger there emphasising non-vocally how he was still the boss and she was under him. Once, after she had suggested that perhaps she should come along to meet the clients, he had laughed at her like she was some useless little girl and asked her what her handicap was on golf? Besides, “…Suz, the clients are all men,” he had said as if that was explanation enough.

JJ had laughed a lot at that. She had laughed politely with him, and then JJ had left. Later that night, she had cried herself to sleep after finishing a bottle of wine. She did not really know why, but it hurt a lot.

She still had no boyfriend, but she was not concerned by that. Her father, before he had died, began telling her that she was obsessing too much over working and should go find a good man. Her mother had died when she was young and her father had raised her. Perhaps he was the reason she was so focused and she normally listened to him, but she didn’t this time. She also had no friends to fill the space of leisure, so she would work late during the work week and then spend her weekends finding reasons to fill time with work-related things.

Then there were the staff parties.

She never had friends in real life and the office was no different. Somehow social events like parties emphasised her awkward, loneliness even more. But, given her station, employees would politely interact with her and laugh a bit at her occasional joke. But she knew that the moment she left their direct company, the sneers and rumours and complaining would come out. “Suz is lesbian,” was one that she suspected was gaining momentum as her unmarried, uncoupled status was unusual, but who knew? She tried really hard to ignore it and told herself that it was the nature of the position that colleagues never liked their bosses. Still, late at night when she was tossing and turning in her bed, these things would haunt her and make her want to scream and cry at the same time.

And then JJ disappeared. It was after a staff party. He had drunk a lot, but so had many other people. His wife had called the police two days later when he was still not home. Apparently, he would disappear for a night after staff parties sometimes, but he had never done so for two nights. His car was found in the office basement parking. The key was in the ignition, though it was not on, his seat was rolled back and a good couple smears dried blood stained the upholstery and a bit of the seat. The rearview mirror was broken like there had been a brief struggle, but there were also no signs of forced entry.

The police began to swarm around the office. Normal day-to-day work pretty much ended and the days became police request, police interrogations and media flashes from the crowd gathered outside the office. Paparazzi were making the rounds outside while the police were doing so inside. Every single employee was being grilled by middle-aged, under-payed, angry policemen about what happened at the party that night.

There were no real suspects, but a number of employees thought that they had seen Suz and JJ having a drink and a smoke outside party late in the evening. As far as the police could tell, Suz was the last person to see JJ alive and she became the de facto suspect. The police began to interrogate her repeatedly while calling friends and family for character witnesses. They found the former useless and the latter a rather short list. So they began to focus the investigation on motives and the Board’s promotion of Suz into JJ’s old job could not have come at a worse time. Still, Suz was a woman, so the policemen only pursued her half-heartedly in between cups of office coffee and doughnuts from the canteen downstairs.

In the end, despite all the digging and all the talking and all the asking and all the noise, the police, the media and the general gossip never firmly concluded what happened to JJ. Eventually, despite JJ’s widow’s distress and a complete lack of closure, even the gossip in the office died down and day-to-day work continued almost like usual.

Except, Suz now sat in the corner office. She reported directly to the Board now and managed the whole floor and even a couple below that. It was all worth it, she found herself thinking after the final interrogation by the police in her corner office. This was almost everything she had ever hoped for, but there was a nagging feeling. She had met with the Board a couple of times now and she really liked the feel of the Main Boardroom.

She did not even notice the little specks of blue far below her corner office window as the police left the building for good. She was too busy fantasising about the Main Boardroom, rubbing her fingertips back and forth. Her nails would be fully grown back in about a week or so. It was a real pity she had had to clip them all off. A couple had snapped off or been chipped in the car and, if she had not trimmed them all down, it just would have been assymetrical. It was a real pity, she thought absentmindedly, stroke her leather chair and remembering how soft and luxurious the Boardroom chairs were.

The Shadowed Path Beside Starlight

Fairy

“Come here child and let me show you another way?”

I tentatively step forward and reach out for her hand. She looks young and beautiful, draped in strange clothes that shimmer. But I somehow know that she is old. I somehow know she that is ancient.

“Yes, there is another way. It lies alongside the starlight.”

She smiles and takes my hand. Her hands are icy cold, but strangely comforting like cool water on a hot day.

“Just like the Sun warms the day, the Moon looks over the night. And, under Her protection, we can walk in the shadows of this path lit up only by the starlight. Now, child, look up and tell me what you see?”

I look up and suddenly the cosmos opens up before me. Nothing has changed in the night sky. The stars are all there like they always were. But each and every one of them seems to twinkle and gleam just a little bit more. It is like they are all focussing on me and me alone. It suddenly feels like the stars are all looking down on me; thousands and thousands of celestial beings focussing on just me. And they are not randomly scattered across the sky. No, suddenly I realize that the constellations stretching out before me are all ancient markers along a celestial road towards a cosmic infinity.

“Yes, child, you see it now. You see the shadowed path beside starlight that She has given us,” she whispers into my ear. She then takes my face in her cold touch and turns me to look deep into her mysterious eyes, “Child, do you want to walk this path and do you choose to do so of your own free will?”

The starlight from the endless cosmos above me seems to radiate around us. Our beings are shimmering in soft silver light. My mind is swirling in a space much larger than it ever has done before. Thoughts of space and time, light and darkness, stars and suns, and boundless cosmic distances all converge with my human emotions of wonder and joy and peace and happiness and love.

“Yes…” I whisper, “Yes, I do.”

She smiles and a knife that I had not noticed before in her hand slips quickly and quietly between my ribs. Its metal is cold, like her touch, but fire erupts in my chest as it pierces my heart. The sharp pain makes me cry out. This quickly subsides as my warm, pumping lifeblood spills down my front and I begin to grow numb.

I begin to grow cold; cold like her touch.

As a heavy darkness begins to fall over my vision, the last thing I remember hearing is her whispering to the stars, “O Terrible Mistress, we send this willing child on the shadowed path beside starlight towards You and eternity…”

And then there are only the stars.

Click

"This mugging-gone-wrong takes a dark turn..."

Panting, he collapses in a chair. Deep, ragged, gasping breaks the silence of the dimly lit room as he struggles to catch his breath. He rubs the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed. Absentmindedly, he reaches out and grasps the TV remote.

Click.

“–and in other news tonight, you will not be–”

Click.

–forgotten? They’re lost inside yooouur memoryyyy–

Click.

“–where you killed them! Didn’t you? I know it was you–”

Click.

“And folks, we have a special announcement tonight. We have a wonderful–”

Click.

“–problem. Tough dirt, gritty slime and blood stains; no problem. We have the solution, because–”

Click.

“–the assailant appears to have fled the scene on foot taking his firearm with him. The victim is in a critical condition after what appears to have been a mugging gone wrong–no, wait, we’re just getting news in that the victim has died en route to the hospital. This mugging-gone-wrong takes a dark turn as the victim, a local hero and charity worker has died before reaching the hospital from an apparent shot to the chest during a struggle. Local police have noted that a witness from the nearby park has given a precursor identification of the perpetrator–”

Click, and the TV screen flickers off.

The room, briefly filled with the electric dancing lights of its screen returns to its dimly lit previous state.

He leans forward in the chair, heart pounding in his chest. His palms are sweaty. He lifts the gun from where he put it beside him on the table. The metal is cool to the touch. It still smells faintly like gunpowder and death. He slowly turns it around on himself and stares down the cold, dark barrel.

Click.

Silhouettes

"...A black crow looked down on me that night. The moonlight did not glimmer in silver but whispered of darkness..."

Soft red hair complimented the sunlight shimmering across her subtle frame with a fragrance like sweet roses. And I remember the time we were kicked out of as cinema. We ran away laughing on a hot summers night and ate cold ice-cream on the lonely midnight shore.

The oceans rolled back and forth. The waves broke and reformed. The stars above were countless, like a jewelled blanket hiding us in the night.

We made love in the starlight, pushing shapes into the soft beach sand.

She would make my coffee in the mornings and complain, jokingly, about how I had no sugar or milk in it. I laughed at her and would chide her for the amount of tea she drank.

And we would both laugh about the tequila the night before. We would both swear we would never drink that poison again. We would both laugh at this, knowing it was untrue.

The bitter black coffee in my cup would stare up at me. Lapping back and forth as I sipped it, bringing my consciousness out of the soft morning shine and into the waking world.

And then we would make love, penetrated by the shy morning sunlight that pierced the gaps in our curtains. Our forms being one, breaking and reforming.

A black crow looked down on me that night. The moonlight did not glimmer in silver but whispered of darkness.

I remember meeting her parents. The distance and awkwardness as I saw older, critical people sitting across from us. Questions and shouting broke out, but they did not reform. I suddenly saw what she–what we–would be like in the future. It was dark and unloving with little starlight and no jokes. They were all shouting and she was crying, and so we left.

The car drove and drove. The streetlamps became stars shooting past us as the road was the fate of those upon it. And we were the road.

We stopped on a cliff overlooking the ocean. We stopped and, in silence, looked at the stars dancing on the waves of the midnight ocean.

They were rolling back and forth, breaking and reforming.

And we made a tearful love in that car. Her salty tears mingling with my mouth, as I held her quivering form against the cold leather seat and the moonlight played across her pale breasts.

The sun rose, as those days all did. It rolled back and forth, breaking on the shores of memory and reforming against the silhouette of daily life.

And then the silhouette became a shadow.

The shadow became a darkness. What did we have to look forward to? But I could not let her go or let someone else take her. No. But I did come up with a plan to save her from the barrenness of inevitability.

I still miss her, though.

Sometimes I wish I had never killed her.